I’m trying, desperately actually, to figure it all out. Everything that has happened is coming to a catastrophic end. But I’ve learned something. I’ve learned that my favorite words in the whole English language are when said genuinely with vulnerability, “I’m struggling.” Everything that I’ve seen in my short 19 years has made me into something so far from what I was originally intended for. And now in this moment I can appreciate the bravery in others that I never had.
I always played the right part. I had it all under control, or so it seemed. I thought that time was on my side that I would have enough of it to get myself together. I was wrong. Now I am out of time. There are no more chances to get it together.